Gaming, Dating, and Cape Cod chips

Advice by Chloe
3 min readSep 30, 2019


Hey there,

So, I’m Chloe… and I just kinda fell into this.

I’m a graduate student, an extroverted introvert, and a big nerd. On an average day I’m usually studying, reading, binging Netflix with my dog, playing copious amounts of video games, or barely surviving an epic battle in my D&D campaign like the badass Ghostwise Halfling druid I am. Until recently, running my own business wasn’t an idea I’d even considered.

Our Adventure Begins

Most of my friends are guys, so the topic of conversation while gaming frequently turned to the frustrations of online dating, getting ghosted, and DMs that led to nowhere. On one such day, I got curious and asked to take a look at their profiles.

After looking through their online dating profiles and reading through their DMs I quickly realized that none of my friends knew how to appeal to women. My friends are legitimately funny, interesting, intelligent, and attractive men. Some of them are outright hotties… but they truly sucked at online dating.

Their photos? Awful. They hid their best features, looked 15 pounds heavier, and 3 inches shorter. They were taken inside their apartments with dirty dishes in the background, wearing a gaming headset, or covered in sweat after a marathon… and their bios were even worse.

To put it bluntly, their profiles were a complete shit show.

The Bet

So, like any overly competitive person would, I challenged them to a bet.

The Terms: I could get them a match within 2 hours if they’d let me overhaul their profiles.

The Stakes: An official title of the winner’s choosing AND 5 beautifully full bags of Cape Cod chips in the flavor of their choice.

I worked for an hour fixing up their bios, took new photos of them, brushed their fucking hair, ironed their shirts (well… I put them in the dryer on high heat for 30 minutes — same thing), and explained to them that staring into a camera with a slight grimace on their face wasn’t likely to convince a girl on the internet to meet them in person.

So how’d it turn out?

After their profiles were complete, all we had to do was wait. Within 45 minutes all three of my friends had a new match, and one of them had a date planned within the hour. They were forced to hail me as Queen Chloe, Leader of the Realms.

I ate a whole bag of Cape Cod chips feeling rather satisfied with myself… and the dating consultant within me was born.

If you want to see my skills for yourself, you can check out my services or make an appointment.

Originally published at on September 30, 2019.



Advice by Chloe

Dating consultant who got her start on Reddit. I write about dating and relationships and I’m always trying to make dating easier for dudes.