Think you’re too unattractive for online dating? You’re not alone.
A good portion of men who book appointments with me claim to be too ugly for dating apps. Guess what you and them have in common? You’re all dead wrong. By the time I’m done with my clients, most of their built-up fears have completely dissolved. Within a week, they start sending me excited messages about how they’re getting matches for the first time in ages, and a week after that they’re singing my praises in a written testimonial. Don’t believe me? Read them for yourself ;)
I’ve literally never had a client contact me after our last appointment to complain about a lack of results, or to leave me a negative review. Am I some magical unicorn princess who solves problems with a flip of my hair and a flick of my magic wand? Of course I am, but I also offer practical advice. The truth is that dating apps can work for 99% of people if you know how to use them. With a little work (and fabulous coaching), you’ll get there in no time.
Shockingly, almost all of that work involves being honest with yourself. In my experience, as someone who consults with frustrated daters for a living, your problem is probably one of the following:
A) The first one is the big one! UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. I’ll be straight with you, if you’re a balding dude in your 40s, you probably won’t match with a nubile college freshman — but you can match with a 40yr old yoga instructor. If you’re 50lbs overweight you probably aren’t going to match with a Sports Illustrated model — but you can match with an attractive lady. Will she be overweight? Possibly, but so are you man. If you’re a white dude living in small-town Vermont and you’re only interested in Japanese women… 🙄come on, really? Manage your expectations! You can find a lady who will make you happy and will fuck you like the dirty, dirty rock-star you are. Listen, I’m not judging you for being attracted to gorgeous women… everyone does a double-take when they see a hottie. I’m just (lovingly) suggesting that you don’t put all your eggs in her unrealistically-hot basket.
B) Your photos are unattractive. Note that I said your PHOTOS are unattractive, not that you’re unattractive. Don’t be dramatic, just take better pictures. Take a peek at previous blogs about photos here and here if you want a few hints.
C) A bad bio. She isn’t interested in a corny pun, your life story, a list of requirements for your dream girl, douchey bragging, or a bitch-fest about how much you hate online dating. If you need some help, take a look at my previous blog about bios here.
D) You live in a rural area. This one sucks, I feel you. I come from a small town and I understand that the pickins’ can be slim. Consider changing your zip-code to the nearest decent-sized town. Don’t catfish her and say that you’re from NYC if you’re in Kansas, but it’s fine to use the zip-code of a nearby town as long as you’re upfront about where you live AND are willing to do most of the traveling.
Do yourself a favor next time you catch yourself throwing a pity party for being too ugly for online dating. Take a good long look at your profile to make sure that you’re putting your best foot forward, and adjust accordingly. You’re almost certainly not too ugly to find love, sex, or companionship on dating apps.